Amy Cuddy's Ted talk was in 2012. It was about body language, it was about building self esteem, it was about confidence. I remember when I was watching her ted talk, I was especially aware of my body language. I was closed and defensive, just like in some of Cuddy's examples. However, I did not take too much consideration since I was feeling relatively confident at that time. My school studies were doing well, great advancements lab work, occasional social life, etc. I was at the top of my game, there was nothing else I would feel inferior about.
Not until I graduated from college, and started a full time job. There, I encountered leaders whom I respect, mentors whom I sometimes find troublesome to deal with, and coworkers whom I feel intimidated from. It was then I realized that I was not as good as I thought. My team leader seems too far to reach, my mentor has flaws that I could not approve, and my coworkers seems to perfect and knowledgeable.
I went back and re-watched Amy Cuddy's Ted talk, and this time seriously considered her points. I have been closed up all the time at work, I was quiet, and waiting for others approval. However, I started disappearing from time to time to hide in the bathroom, and raise my arms in the air. At the moment it feels uncomfortable, and sometimes these gestures would lead to a stretch. But I always return to my workspace feeling less depressed than before.
It was then I also noticed that maybe my coworkers, whom graduated the same time as me, who has the same life and career goal as me, might just also been faking it. And if they can fake it, so can I.
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