Growing up as an atheist, I had thought religion is nothing but quicksand of cults, an organization that you join voluntarily to be controlled and manipulated. I'm not sure where I picked those negative assumptions of religion, perhaps from passing by stories, and perhaps by heavy anti-religious influence on CCTV. It wasn't until recently that I started exploring different spiritual routes that Christianity has to offer. Christianity seems omnipresent, just like how Bank of america branches are everywhere, providing convenience, implying dominance. A few things I noticed about the teachings of Christianity that breaks my original idea of religion as a whole and see it less of a cult.
Encouragement for a welcoming community: People tend to adopt a sense of identity from a group, being inside a group tend to generate pride and exclusivity. The whole idea of VIPs is built on top of individuals' pride and ego, a boost of exclusivity and feel good hormones. A small group of girlfriends can also be closed off to others due to reluctance for change and new voices. I believe welcoming communities are a rare find in today's society. It requires open-mindedness, love, and compassion towards others to be a member and supportive of a welcoming community. And who can confidently say that they always resemble all those qualities?
Belief in god as a self-fulfilling prophecy: It is hard for a colored feminist to picture a bald, old, Caucasian guy with exotically shaped long beards as a ruler, and call him father, believe in him, and think that he gives me life or decides my path. So I don't picture God in that way. Rather, I imagine god as goodness, karma, justice, fairness, and the perfect form of myself. Hence, to be closer to god is to constantly remind myself that I should be a good perfect, and I should strive towards perfection. Because I can never be god, I can never be perfect. And when I do things that are not perfect, that is because I can never be god. The other idea is that god will eventually give you everything you deserve in this unfair world. It's the thinking that everything is going to be good, fine, and we will eventually all be okay. This wishful thinking to me, seems like a self-fulfilling prophecy that prevents me from aimlessly worry about the unknown future.
It makes you less fearful of death: A number of spiritual writers and well-being gurus have written about fear. Fear of death has tormented people, especially in old age, from enjoying their life to the fullest. The essence of Christianity is to believe that once you are dead, you in some gassy form will ascend to heaven and live in utopia forever. While this sounds to me like a prison, but it's suppose to be good. The belief of afterlife makes you less fearful of death, hence help liberating you from the notion of fear itself. Now isn't it good to be brave and less fearful?
While these teachings have only good intentions, we have all seen people that were so dedicated to religion that they have completely lost themselves. As a friend once said, religion can be a tremendous help for people when used in the right circumstances with the right amount of influence. When you are too much into an established religion, let it be Christianity or Buddhism, that you donate all your belongings to it and struggling to make your own ends meet, then this religion is a cult to you. I am not an advocate for Christianity, and I still take the idea of organized religion with caution. With that said, I think that everyone needs their own religion as a leeway to deeper spiritual development. It could be an unique religion that you come up with yourself (your view on life), or you can join an already established religion with temples or books. As long as it allows you to focus on being a better human being to yourself and to others, it is a good religion that fosters spiritual development.
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Friday, February 12, 2016
Something easier than articulation
Today, I encountered a person. I encountered someone smart, dedicated, and influential. He was a guy with his own lab and ideas, meeting with my mentors and bosses for a collaborator project. I was able to sneak into the meeting under the excuse of learning. He rolled into my lab's small meeting room, covering a half of a mac laptop with his palms, oozing down on our meeting room chair until the chair finally let out a weak groan. It is from this guy that I've learned something that could be useful to a lot of social interactions.
This guy pulled out his computer, put up a long powerpoint presentation, excitingly talk about what he has found from the maturation of cells from basil laminar to the external surface. Slides after slides of colorful, powerful images of stained cells, the results pretty much sold itself. Throughout his talk he found chances to include some personal stories and jokes to make the presentation less dry, and hence we know that he also has a number of other projects and collabrators. As we sat there gawking over what's in front of us, his tones changed subtly. "I usually hate to talk about this," he began. He was asking for additional funding to his project, a common problem that scientists face. I stared at his facial expressions, trying to catch any indications of sensation other than the excitement and honor to work with us. Among the many blessed words to our ears, I caught tiny glimpse of discomfort, nervousness, and lots of laughter to ease out any source of negativity. Is he carefully articulating what he is saying for a better outcome? Did he chose to focus on how happy he is to work with us so we don't pay too much attention to the financial request? Or is the cheerful attitude and the awkwardness of financial request just a honest representation of his thinking?
Often times in social interactions I come upon the need to ask for favors, or just to get on someone's good side without saying I really like you as a person and wish we can be friends. Even if I don't like someone, I still feel the need to be as friendly and amiable as I can. In a world that is as intricately connected as ours, a good rule to have is to make as much good impressions as one can. However, there are times when I mess up. When I have mixed views about something, words come out of my mouth reveal exactly that. I would then have to be more elaborate and explain that I didn't meant to say what I said, but I know that I really believe what I've just said. Confusion, inconsistency, and awkwardness are the results of these kind of slip ups. Sometimes people tell me that I need to articulate my ideas better, but it requires knowing English on a deeper level then I demonstrate. Other times people encourage me to focus on something else then my actual point, but that doesn't sound right either. With my recent discoveries of religion and morality, a few things clicked as I observed and listened to what this guy said.
Becoming a good speaker requires articulation. But carefully align words in purposeful ways requires lots of mental power and exercise to achieve perfectly. It requires years of reading, large span of attention dedicated to vocabulary, relationship between words, and all that jazz. It is not the fastest solution to avoid slip ups especially when you are not confident speaking eloquently. However, being a honest speaker that voices out how I feel at a specific time, does not require any thing but honesty. To me, narrating things in the honest and truthful way requires less mental energy then speaking while facing cognitive dissonance. If not able to articulate my own words is my problem, then I can at least convince myself that my negativity is wrong. The disappearance of negativity might only be temporary, but as long as negativity disappear while I'm interacting with that person, I still have presented myself as best as I can. I wonder as I write this post, if that dude traveled up to DC from his own institution has spent his travel time wondering what's the best word in the best sentence when expressing which idea will yield him the best outcome.
This guy pulled out his computer, put up a long powerpoint presentation, excitingly talk about what he has found from the maturation of cells from basil laminar to the external surface. Slides after slides of colorful, powerful images of stained cells, the results pretty much sold itself. Throughout his talk he found chances to include some personal stories and jokes to make the presentation less dry, and hence we know that he also has a number of other projects and collabrators. As we sat there gawking over what's in front of us, his tones changed subtly. "I usually hate to talk about this," he began. He was asking for additional funding to his project, a common problem that scientists face. I stared at his facial expressions, trying to catch any indications of sensation other than the excitement and honor to work with us. Among the many blessed words to our ears, I caught tiny glimpse of discomfort, nervousness, and lots of laughter to ease out any source of negativity. Is he carefully articulating what he is saying for a better outcome? Did he chose to focus on how happy he is to work with us so we don't pay too much attention to the financial request? Or is the cheerful attitude and the awkwardness of financial request just a honest representation of his thinking?
Often times in social interactions I come upon the need to ask for favors, or just to get on someone's good side without saying I really like you as a person and wish we can be friends. Even if I don't like someone, I still feel the need to be as friendly and amiable as I can. In a world that is as intricately connected as ours, a good rule to have is to make as much good impressions as one can. However, there are times when I mess up. When I have mixed views about something, words come out of my mouth reveal exactly that. I would then have to be more elaborate and explain that I didn't meant to say what I said, but I know that I really believe what I've just said. Confusion, inconsistency, and awkwardness are the results of these kind of slip ups. Sometimes people tell me that I need to articulate my ideas better, but it requires knowing English on a deeper level then I demonstrate. Other times people encourage me to focus on something else then my actual point, but that doesn't sound right either. With my recent discoveries of religion and morality, a few things clicked as I observed and listened to what this guy said.
Becoming a good speaker requires articulation. But carefully align words in purposeful ways requires lots of mental power and exercise to achieve perfectly. It requires years of reading, large span of attention dedicated to vocabulary, relationship between words, and all that jazz. It is not the fastest solution to avoid slip ups especially when you are not confident speaking eloquently. However, being a honest speaker that voices out how I feel at a specific time, does not require any thing but honesty. To me, narrating things in the honest and truthful way requires less mental energy then speaking while facing cognitive dissonance. If not able to articulate my own words is my problem, then I can at least convince myself that my negativity is wrong. The disappearance of negativity might only be temporary, but as long as negativity disappear while I'm interacting with that person, I still have presented myself as best as I can. I wonder as I write this post, if that dude traveled up to DC from his own institution has spent his travel time wondering what's the best word in the best sentence when expressing which idea will yield him the best outcome.
Tuesday, February 2, 2016
Quality of life
I was inspired to rant about the quality of life when I was on the bus this morning, overhearing two gentlemen talking about their mothers and grandmothers' experiences being in old age. Just for your reference, their relatives are all in their 90s. The whole conversation prompted me to think about how people's quality of life change as they age, and their expectation for quality of life change as well. This topic is semi related to Young vs Old post from last December.
Before briefly touching on quality of life at old age, I would like to talk about people ranging the age 20 to 50 having a certain expectation and guidelines for their quality of life. We are all subconsciously trying to improve our quality of life. However, the way that many of us understand the quality of life is not just how much you go to the gym, how much you make, or how much fancy food you can enjoy with whoever people. To me personally, going to the gym makes me feel more fit and healthy, making more money makes me feel more competent as a human being, eating fancy food makes me feel like I am very privileged. They are all guidelines to which I categorize under quality of life, as if doing those things could give me a mental check in my quality of life checklist. However, deep down inside, I believe quality of life is more than our own desire to motivate, enjoy, pamper ourselves.
Quality of life also involves how satisfied, fulfilled, or, for the lack of a better word, blessed you feel on average. My bus driver believed that the quality of life for an senior citizen is more important than the longevity. This is where our view of quality of life is different from say, a dying grandma's view of quality of life. Atul Gwande emphasize in Being Mortal that at the edge of dying, patients tend to grab onto privacy and sentimental matters while sacrificing their time being alive. Legacy is another important matter people think about when facing death. All of those things: connections to others, connections to the self, legacy, etc. all give us ideas about who we are and the roles we have played in relation to others. While Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now indicate being conscious of the presence is important, I believe establishing satisfying meaningful relationships with people around you, and your spiritual higher being (God or Buddha), is an essential part of the quality of life.
Before briefly touching on quality of life at old age, I would like to talk about people ranging the age 20 to 50 having a certain expectation and guidelines for their quality of life. We are all subconsciously trying to improve our quality of life. However, the way that many of us understand the quality of life is not just how much you go to the gym, how much you make, or how much fancy food you can enjoy with whoever people. To me personally, going to the gym makes me feel more fit and healthy, making more money makes me feel more competent as a human being, eating fancy food makes me feel like I am very privileged. They are all guidelines to which I categorize under quality of life, as if doing those things could give me a mental check in my quality of life checklist. However, deep down inside, I believe quality of life is more than our own desire to motivate, enjoy, pamper ourselves.
Quality of life also involves how satisfied, fulfilled, or, for the lack of a better word, blessed you feel on average. My bus driver believed that the quality of life for an senior citizen is more important than the longevity. This is where our view of quality of life is different from say, a dying grandma's view of quality of life. Atul Gwande emphasize in Being Mortal that at the edge of dying, patients tend to grab onto privacy and sentimental matters while sacrificing their time being alive. Legacy is another important matter people think about when facing death. All of those things: connections to others, connections to the self, legacy, etc. all give us ideas about who we are and the roles we have played in relation to others. While Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now indicate being conscious of the presence is important, I believe establishing satisfying meaningful relationships with people around you, and your spiritual higher being (God or Buddha), is an essential part of the quality of life.
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