Choose of speciality in the medical field

It is the greatest honor to be chosen by admission committee to be given a spot in the incoming medical class. You will then start medical school very excitingly, then soon to discover that medical is very intense. You then will study at any possible free time you can find, wherever, whenever. You will then only have social lives occasionally on weekends. But these living styles are okay, because you know you are walking through the road to your own life fulfillment.

After two years of medical school, you start your clinical rotation without knowing anything about interaction with patients, no confidence in diagnosing their diseases, and no idea about what to do for any of the general chief complaints. You go through rounds and rounds of different medical specialities: internal medicine, emergency medicine, OB/GYN, neurology, psychiatry, and surgery. You will discover different people in each of the sub-specialities. You will draw closer to those people with personalities similar to you. If everything goes right, you will have an idea of what to do at the end of your third year of medical school, then choose the appropriate electives in your fourth year rounds. Then you will be prepare to apply for residency, knowing exactly where to apply to, and be somewhat prepared. 

However, there are students who have no idea about the speciality that they will choose for the rest of their lives. The nervousness, the peer pressure, the importance of the decision, all accumulate to the hesitation. People are deciding between radiology and pathology, neurology and cardiology, and even between internal medicine and dermatology. 

Due to the inexperience of an individual that has not gone through medical school just yet, I hope I do not have to face such difficult life determining question.

Wisdom Teeth

I got my bottom wisdom teeth pulled when I was 20 years old. It did not feel good afterwards. Indeed, my face was swollen for almost a week. It was even worse since I was starting a new job the day after the dental surgery. I ended up giving people at work with the first impression of an asymmetrical face. For all of those events, my view towards wisdom teeth is not a good one.

Recently I got the chance to expose myself to additional radiation -- the grandiose panoramic film that covers my entire mouth. Surprisingly, it showed four wisdom teeth in my mouth, including new ones that popped up again at the bottom. Of course I was not thrilled to see that those had grew back. Moreover, wisdom teeth growing back was never anything I have ever heard of. It turns out that when the dental pulp, which sort of works as stem cells for bone growth, is not completely removed, then another set of teeth might grow back! And that was what happened to mine. And strangely, there are small population of people that can grow a second set of adult teeth. Because it is a very small population, do not wait for that to happen when you have dying molars.

The Devil Wears Scrubs

One of the blogs that I have been following since last year is by Dr.Fizzy McFizz: A Cartoon Guide to Becoming a Doctor. She complains a lot, which sometimes gives me a mis-sense that she, too, is one of those doctors who regret going to medicine. McFizz always give the right amount of medical information that satisfies the eager doctor-wanna-be pre-medical students/post-bacs, which is what I love the most about her blogs. I also love her blogs with cartoons that often seen a bit sarcastic; but nowadays, everyone seems to appreciate satire rather than just plain funny. It seems like McFizz is often on the defensive side about her blogs, against the comments, in her biography, etc. It certainly seems so in her Q&A section, which gives a very detailed description about herself.

Recently I have been hunting down a book to read. And it just so happens that Dr. Fizzy wrote a book! And it is about (surprise surprise) medicine. I admit that I have not been reading her blog recently, because otherwise I would have known about this book which was published last year. The writing style of the book is how she writes all her blog posts, and the stories seems very similar to real life experiences. This is an excellent read for students who are thinking about the field of medicine. It gives pre-medical students a realistic view of the turmoil a doctor will go through.

Yesterday I went to visit one of my all-time favorite role model: my family doctor. After telling her about my upcoming MCAT exam, she was extremely encouraging. She told me the serious of hoops she had to jump through: taking the MCAT, followed by the 3 steps of USMLE, then residency, finally the Boards. Yet despite all of those challenges one had to go through to become a qualified doctor, she still would not regret her profession. She told me, that no matter how bad the patients she encounter, and how ridiculous the paperwork gets, she still enjoys every single day of her profession. Not only my family doctor, my all time favorite mentor (whom also happens to have a blog: Rainbows Ahead) was also very encouraging about my dream of becoming a doctor. It is true that pre-medical students have doubts about the problems they face, such as having the highest suicide rates, guilt going through after misdiagnosis, and not able to show any weakness, etc. Medical schools have classes that center around morality, empathy, altruism, etc, that will train you to face those tough situations. So if you are a pre-medical student having doubts about whether you can be a good doctor, I say if you are really enthusiastic in doctoring, fear not.

When There Was a Clue

In the one-two-three year transition between undergraduate to grad school, often times I think about whether the way I am going is really right for me. Eventually I reach a question of whether my goal of medical school is due to my infatuation of the medical field, my belief of an omni-giving life, or just  my stubbornness.

Yesterday I had the pleasure of speaking about this puzzling topic with my 60-year-old roommate. It took place in a car after we spent two happy hours shopping for groceries. She is a type I diabetic, with chronic back pain, constant acid reflux, and depression. She also went through a cardiac bypass surgery due to her genetically related Wolff-Parkinson syndrome (that's an irregular electrical pulses leading to irregular rhythm in pumping of heart). When she first told me about her medical symptoms, I felt sorry for her. I thought god was so unfair with some people while so lenient with others. It was unfair that she had to experience through so much while I had lived twenty-something years of my life being extremely healthy. Will I only understand the pain and the emotional struggle of likes of her if I was an actual patient? I tried thinking in her shoe, and tried applying those horrible un-curable diseases onto me. I then realized the intensity of hopelessness one could become, followed by the amount of positive thinking one should require to keep on battling those diseases.

My roommate asked me why I was so puzzled about my future. My uncertainty evolved from lack of confidence in academic performance, forming ideal relationships with others, and patience. I asked her that if I were her internist, would she trust me as her doctor. She said yes, perhaps due to her lack of trust in her current internist, perhaps due to our fragile relationships as roommates, or perhaps she really trust me.

As we discuss about these things, it suddenly started to rain. With the presence of sunlight from the other side, it formed a rainbow due to the refraction of light in water droplets. My roommates said to me, maybe god is trying to tell you that everything is going to be okay. Surprisingly, I was more assured than ever.

I also found another rainbow in very faint intensity running in parallel. I have never seen two rainbows in parallel to each other, so I snapped another picture.