The Awkward Situation

I have recently been in some awkward situations before: at the gym, at work, etc. Most of times I was able to take care of it with ease and laughter after craking a few jokes here and there. There is, however, one incident that stuck me pretty hard when I was hanging out with a close friend of mine. Let's just say it was a closer friend than normal. And let's say we don't have any over-lapping friends. When a solo person gets introduced to a group of close friends, it is always difficult for the person to mash into that group. Why? Because the group of close friends have already developed their own ways to communicate with each other, their own backstory, and their own habits.

I ran into situations like that recently, and I just did not know what to do. I ended up sitting there frozen, avoiding eye contact with the other curious eye sights. I didn't know what to say, and was overly sensitive to my own behavior. I wanted to make a good impression, but was afraid of judging. I wanted to say something nice, funny, and clever, but couldn't think of anything. I was sitting there, feeling a mixture of anxiety, and disappointment at myself for not able to mash into the group of people. Eventually it grew too uncomfortable for me and for them that I stood up and left the scene. It reminded me of all those awkward situations when I first came to America and learning English. It was a feeling that I do not fit in, that I was the oddball. Awful!