Frugal habits vs Poor conditions

Without a doubt parents want their kids to excel, and to be good, responsible human beings. There are countless research centered around the development of kids' values, characteristics, morals, etc. Parents pour money into education and extracurriculars for their kids as if such endeavors garentee the constitution of a socially desired individuals. However, parents can attempt to develop one desireable characteristics within a child but mistakenly yielding something...not so desirable. There is a fine line between parents desire to emphasizing frugalness and ending up giving the child an impression of being poor.

Growing up, I saw many middle class families, either in the states or in other countries, highlighting the importance of saving money and spending only on what is absolutely necessary. Out of many other responsibilities a newly constituted familiy might have, mortgage, bills, car insurance costs, etc, it is easy to shut down a child's request for candies or toys. But think about the psychological effect it might have on the child. With his or her own desire inconstantly denied, but with adequate amount of love and attention, the inconstantcy of care leads the child to conclude that the family is financially limited.

Training a child to be frugal diminishes the likelihood of future financial issues. Giving the child an image of poor family background comes with some consequences. For one, being raised from a poor family leads to insecurity, a reluctance to express the inner desire due to the frequency rejections while young, and a limitation to predict actual values of materialistic things. Also, in terms of interacting with others, being raised from a poor family tend to pay more attention on the financial ability of other children's families, hence factor this into basis of friendship. Lastly, the child's desire pursue its own interests that are financially costly such as traveling would be suppressed due to the child's concern for parents' opinions. This prevents the child's creativity, and the ability to exercise confidence and assertion.

So how are you subconsciously effecting your kids?